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What has happened to the American family in the last few decades? And what are these changes doing to our children? David Elkind, renowned child psychologist and author of The Hurried Child, has devoted his career to these urgent questions. This eloquent book puts together all the puzzling facts and conflicting accounts to show us as never before what the American family has become.
- Sales Rank: #1379476 in eBooks
- Published on: 2009-06-30
- Released on: 2009-06-30
- Format: Kindle eBook
From Library Journal
Well known for The Hurried Child (Addison-Wesley, 1988), Elkind focuses on the family unit in his latest publication. Supporting his arguments with a well-documented study of the family, Elkind (child study, Tufts Univ.) is critical of both the modern nuclear family for its imbalance toward the child and the postmodern permeable family for its imbalance toward the parents. The "nuclear family" is defined as the family of the 1950s, characterized by romantic love, unilateral authority, and domesticity. The "permeable family" is the current paradigm, characterized by consensual love, shared parenting, mutual authority, and autonomy. Though his critique is not unique, Elkind concludes that hope can be found for the development of the "vital family" to replace both earlier models. The vital family-characterized as one that "energizes and nurtures the abilities and talents of both children and their parents"-would combine the best of both models and would accommodate the changes in society that have been occuring at an increasingly rapid rate. An essential purchase for academic, including community college libraries, this important work also belongs in larger public libraries.
Kay Brodie, Chesapeake Coll., Wye Mills, Md.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Review
In style and content...this book is addressed to the general reader...[It] seeks to answer the question: What should we do as traditional family structures seem to be crumbling?...[Elkind] thinks the solution lies with a change in parental behavior. He sees contemporary families 'stumbling' toward a new balance between the needs of the children and the needs of the parents, one that integrates the mutual responsibility of the traditional family with the freedoms of the contemporary family...Let's hope that Elkind is right. (Douglas J. Besharov Washington Post Book World)
Elkind...is as much a child advocate as an intellectual guru, and his dissection of what's gone wrong for children in America today is written with passion and clarity. (Washington Times)
A thoughtful effort, one of the most thoughtful I have come across, to...make sense of the overpowering changes that have taken place within a generation...A powerful new analysis of how family life in general has changed over the law thirty years, altering not just the experience of childhood but that of adulthood as well...Building on a complete substructure of work in social history, psychology, and social research, Elkind develops a systematic argument for how we got from then to now, from the nuclear family of the modern period to the fragmented family of the postmodern. (Edward Shorter, Ph.D. Readings: A Journal of Reviews and Commentary in Mental Health)
This book has many strengths, the first being that it is a well-documented study of family life. The author consistently builds on his past work and cites outstanding scholars as he traces the history of family life...This book is a valuable contribution to the vast body of literature that focuses on families. It provides a clear picture of why family life has changed...[and] aids in clarifying the strengths and weaknesses of idealized family life. (Sharon J. Price Phi Kappa Phi Journal)
Elkind's new book sums up the changes we are all witnessing and their cost to children. A very good, worthwhile book written by someone from the `inside.' (T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., author of Touchpoints)
Elkind's book should be read for its contribution to understanding recent changes in the American family, and for its important, yet debatable, application of the concept of postmodernism to the family. (James T. Mathieu New Oxford Review)
About the Author
David Elkind, Professor of Child Study at Tufts University, is the author of many books, including The Hurried Child: Growing Up Too Fast Too Soon.
Most helpful customer reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
A Fine Analysis and A Lot to Ponder
By Kristi E. Jalics
I grew up in the 50s but raised my children in the 70s, 80s, and 90s. My feeling is that Elkind has analyzed the changes in American families very accurately. He has NOT said that everything was wonderful before nor that everything is dreadful now. But I do believe he is correct when he says that the imbalance in the 50s was in favor of the child and the imbalance now is in favor of the parents.
I don't consider myself any sort of fanatic, but I was a stay at home mom myself and our children seem to have turned out very well. I agree with the reviewer who said that it is not always necessary to have two incomes to support a family. It IS however necessary to make intelligent choices about what a family wants and needs. There is a lot that makes life worth living that doesn't have to be paid for with money. Maybe having a mother at home is the greatest luxury a family can choose as far as impact on life style and living. Kids don't need multiple after school classes and sports events to be well developed or happy. That doesn't mean they shouldn't have any. But people can choose and plan and have a wonderful life without two incomes.
This book will give you many different ways of thinking about what a family is, what a family can be, what individual development can mean. If you are serious about making the best choices for your family, Elkind's books deserve special attention.
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18 of 26 people found the following review helpful.
It's all about your lifestyle!!!!
By Julia Burnette
Although I have not read this book, I feel compelled to provide a "rebuttal" to Scott's views. He wrote that all parents have to work, which indicates to me that he is buying into the great cultural lie that exists today. It is indicative of the parent-centered world that modern America has created. My partner works outside the home, I am a full-time mother. Contrary to what you may be thinking when I make that statement, we are by no means even "middle-middle" class. In fact, we survive on VERY little money at the moment. We simply have undemanding lifestyles! We don't have brand-new cars, we have a very modest home that meets our needs but is not large or extravagant, I don't get my nails done, we don't eat out often, etc. As parents, you must ask yourself honestly which is more important: do you want to live like most Americans (or Brits, or Canadians, or other industrialized countries' citizens), who are in debt up to their eyeballs and push their kids off on strangers to rear them just so you can drive a cool car or have a home that is too large for your needs; or do you want to live modestly, at least until your child is old enough and responsible enough to care for himself, so that your child turns out well-adjusted and secure? Be honest with yourself. Make your own choice. I won't down you for it, but my choice is to live a calm, uncluttered life that will benefit my son.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Good but wanting more advice to help children not just understand their families
By Julie Kindt
I had to purchase this book for a master's level class. I found the topic that children are often stressed out at home coming back throughout the book over and over. We know as educators that children today are faced with much more stress than their parents or grandparents had to deal with. There is drugs, peer pressure, the internet, bullying, divorce, family financial problems, single parent homes, etc. The list could go on and on. There is not much we can do as teachers to change children's families. We can only understand and try to make our classrooms places that they want to come and learn. This is a good book but I already knew that some children get the short stick when it comes to their families. I was hoping for more advice to help them succeed in school.
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